♥
I really want to be a child again. REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be a child. Its so bad, today i got asked what i wanted for my 21st and what i hope to be after passing getting all the way to this stage and age in life, and all i could think of was "I really want to be a kid again" :(Deceit, Betrayal, Disappointment, Sadness and Confusion. Being a kid would mean experiencing hardly any of the full impacts of those above feelings. Disappointment as a kid... yes - when you wish for something you hope to get for christmas from santa but never did get? Sadness - the closest a normal child would get to being sad would be after a strict telling off from your parents for being naughty girl/boy? and Confusion in the process of child development? - as to... why you cant do certain things.
Whereas in my current stage in life? those couple of emotions combine to for a whirlpool in my head, of mixed confusion and disappointment in putting faith in something I shouldnt have started with in the first place! :|
I just really want to be... a child again!!!!!!!! :( Today's been a really confusing day, but I guess it wasnt my scene to be in in the first place, and i hate comparing myself to people cause i hate competition, but thinking about it, in comparison, im just plain boring jane. So i definitely lose in all aspects.
GAH. I need to build my walls up again.