Monday, June 15, 2009

Studying today has been quite productive, had a whole conversation with Laurzzz just now, I'm going to miss that girl truckloads when she moves to Deakin :( But at least we are still gym friends! Exams start in 2 days (!!!!!!!!) and ends in 9 days, it will pass very very fast, and I WILL PASS :) well.. hopefully! Hahah.

So today was a good day, stayed up to the most unearthly hour talk to char online after I had finished most of what I had planned to to do and woke up at like, 123o today! But was def an awesome conversation and so worth staying up for.

Its been half a year already, and looking back things have changed so much. Cant describe how I would be feeling about all this change here and there and everywhere. Happy? Disappointed? Sad? The things I hear/ people tell me always leave me in utter disbelief, shock, doubt etc :/ So many things have fallen apart, and its not like me to not try pick up the pieces to make things better. Have I changed for the worst? Why is it I dont care anymore? I get so angry at the things I see on facebook or hear from people, and keep telling myself, ew she's such a hypocrite, I hate hypocrites and I shant bother anymore, but that's a lie saying I hate hypocrites, cause everyone does have a hypocritical side / part of them, hidden or exposed, its there. Its an even bigger lie to say I dont care, cause I know I do, its just.. cause i dont know how to deal with it. Sigh, and it gets so awkward for me to try patch things up with whoever cause all that will keep going through my mind is that "she said this this this about me" or ahh I dont know :/ With some people its easier to forget, with some it isnt cause its just not their nature to do such stuff, and when they do, you get taken aback, angry and then the disappointment kinda sets in after? Okay that was a whole lot of rambling, and such a lengthy paragraph. But well if you're one of those that i've neglected of late, I'm sorry and I will deal with everything after exams I promise :)

But well on the other hand, new school, new environment, new friends, more smiles and happier days :) Also certain friendships have strengthen so much, which I am very happy about. Things may change in a year or so, but whatever is it, I am kinda happy where I am now and with the friends I have :) Alright, back to studying.